White going brown??!!

Apparently, the last thing I clean around here is my master bathroom mirror. Please excuse that.

These were taken before I cleaned. Serious.

That white streak of hair there? I have grown to like it. I have stress induced alopecia at times in my life. It gets a little challenging when it is on the crown of my head and I have to figure out how to hide that one. Other times, I end up with random spots on my scalp that lose hair. It comes back. Sometimes with the use of steroids, sometimes oils, sometimes just plain ol' grows back.

I sort of named that white streak. I can't share the name with you, but it showed up at a great emotional cost. And, seriously, I have grown to like that little bugger! It has sort of been a badge of honor of sorts. A reminder of what was.

Several days ago I realized that the roots are not white anymore! What??!! That white streak is "growing out" and before long will disappear with hair cuts. My sister told me when this happened, that now every hair I lost was going to be replaced with this luxurious white. Apparently, nature had another idea!

I think there is a message in there. (Other than those mismatched switches on the wall.)

We all walk through troubled times in our lives. When it is done it is done. When it is over it is over. I fear, realistically, that there may be more white spots coming, but it looks like this story might be in its final chapter. Who am I to rewrite the book that God has written. I have had the privilege of long distance meeting someone who has helped me greatly. Through emotional release therapy by telephone, I am in a much happier place today. My thoughts are softer, kinder and gentler. They don't seem to be stuck like a warped cd, running the same track over and over again in my mind. I no longer sit and stare into space, too mentally and emotionally exhausted for simple thought. I am learning to laugh again. Slowly. That was my hope when I started this process. To be able to laugh. To be able to cry. I was existing like an automaton, going through the motions of living while my mind was stuck in an unhealthy place, dwelling on things that were not in my control. They affected my entire being and I didn't believe there was anything I could do about it. But there was. There always is. Isn't the Serenity Prayer a great lesson to each of us that struggles?

God,
grant me the SERENITY to accept the things I cannot change,
the COURAGE to change the things I can,
and the WISDOM to know the difference.

Serenity: a state of being calm, peaceful, and untroubled.

Serenity is what I was in search of. Serenity is what I was in need of.
Slowly ... I think I am finding some semblance of that peace and calm.