missing her

The birth of my first daughter should have been an indication of what was ahead.
She did not want to come into this world and, although I think it had a lot to do with the doctor and my lack of knowledge at the time, did it in her own way.
Slowly.
From a young age we sort of butted heads.
Often.
Sort of like her dad has done with some of his kids who are so much like him.
I'm sure I didn't realize it then.

Then came the teen years.
Oh my.
There were some serious trials that grew some very non brown hairs on my head.
She knows this.
I'm not spouting anything here that we haven't discussed on the patio.
At one point, I seriously wanted to pack her stuff and shove it out on the front step.
Maybe not even pack it.
Just throw it.

Her dad and I prayed, we cried, we sought advice.
And we lived through the experience.
So did she.

Then we left the place we were living and moved to, what seemed like, a million miles away.
She was left behind, having already reached adulthood and doing her own thing.
Her own thing that was so very different from our own.

Maybe in the space and time of that separation, we both changed.
Perhaps that allowed us time to appreciate each other for who we now were.
Because time and life does change us.
It changes our perspectives.
It changes the way we view others.
It changes the way we react to situations.

And then she moved to where we had moved.
Her dad helped her drive the long road trip and along the way, in a car where there were no other options, they found their place with each other.
One of the greatest blessings.
To find and appreciate each other as adults.

The past four years have been such a treasure to me.
We enjoy each other's company.
We see each other often.
Oh, we don't spend our time out lunching and shopping.
That isn't needed in our relationship, although it might be nice once in a while.
We spend some not so quiet moments filled with the noise of little people.
We spend moments sitting on the patio visiting about the difficult things in life.
We are able to share and cherish successes.
We are able to share heartaches and hurdles.
In my heart, we have become friends.

She spent two weeks out of town recently and I felt lost without her.
I kept waiting for her to come over.

And now she, and her family, have moved away.
Oh, I would be the last person to say "don't go" or "you can't leave us".
For I believe that when doors of opportunity are opened for us, it is for us to go through them and discover what waits on the other side.
A door has opened for them and they will go explore it.

Last weekend, the father/husband/grandfather took off driving
and the rest of the family left the middle of this past week.
They spent the last leg of this Arizona journey with us.

Oh, I will miss the little man with whom we are blessed to have a beautiful relationship.
I dare not even discuss not having him around on a weekly basis.
I am going to learn to love Skype or some equivalent.
(Even though it grates me to sit in one spot for too long.)

I am going to miss my daughter so very much.

I am going to miss my friend.

And then when I have a weeks vacation that allows me to hop in the car ... I am going to go explore the beautiful state of Missouri.

For opportunities are everywhere ... for all of us.

joy on the piano keys

A few times in my life I have written a wee bit of music. 

It was usually at times that were extremely stressful for me and allowed an escape from hurts of the heart and mind. 

I've played them here and there .. often at home.
Very often with my daughters on their various instruments.
I'm so very fortunate to share a love of music with all 3 of my girls.
So. Exquisitely. Fortunate.

(This particular photo collage has been evading me for the past several years. I can't believe I just found it!)

One piece was written to a poem and has been sung at nearly every Kuoppala family event for quite a while.

Over the years, Tia has been plunking piano keys. Sometimes in secret in her room on a keyboard when she was too self conscious to be heard by anyone else. Sometimes in the living room. Several years ago, she started plunking a song that has become hers. There are no notes other than those she has in her head .. so it is only she who can bring life to the piece.

I love when she sits at the piano and her fingers breath a life into notes that exist only in her heart. 

Her friends have heard this piece many times and one friend has said for a long time that she wants to walk down the aisle at her wedding to that piece that Tia created. 

Guess who got engaged recently?

But my dear daughter cannot play at the wedding as she is in the wedding. So this mama has the honor and privilege of playing this special piece of the heart.

I know how I wrote my own music. One painstaking note at a time transcribed to written form. It is one thing to do your own but someone else's??

One day I was contemplating how we were going to accomplish this and had the thought "there has to be an app for that!"
There is.
It doesn't give me all the notes but it does give me the melody and the rest we can work through together. She played ... the app recorded and analyzed ... it worked its magic .. and gave us a musical score. 

Being as there were wet eyes in the room last weekend when she played the song for friends and family of the bride ....

I might need a tissue holder in addition to a page turner/holder the day of the wedding.

april camping

In case you don't know ... we love the outdoors ..

So does Tia.

Although we certainly like our creature comforts, nature calls to our souls.

Friday afternoon relaxation with that never ending rug making of mine.

Followed by bocce ball until the light waned and we could no longer see.

 Saturday morning scented with the aroma of frying bacon.

Always a need to be fixing one ride or another.

Camping can be so incredibly labor intensive.

Wood must be moved from one place to another.

Always at the ready for the evenings bonfire.

No wool gathering allowed in these parts.

Cousins need a rest here and there.

A stop for refreshment so there is energy to play.

New friends may become old friends.

Age knows no boundaries here.

There were quite a few of us gathered on Saturday.

Many new friends to be made.

And, yes, if one is faint of heart in the dirt department ....

this probably wasn't the place to be.

Dirt or no dirt ... hot dog time is best!

So is a ride with mom & dad to the top of the world.

From where you can see forever ....

and ever ....

A weekend with some sister time ...

whether peeling 10 pounds of potatoes ...

enjoying a tree climb together ...

or working at bee keeping!

Refreshing moments of daytime pure delight ....

followed by sand angels by the bonfire of night.

I still feel like I'm breathing dirt.

My nostrils may be back to normal before the next trip which will be a little higher in elevation.

Less of these ...

maybe more of these in a shade of green ...

Happy Monday!

Welcome to April!

spring

The beauty of weather that is downright heavenly.
This week, especially, has been such that I want to capture it in a bottle.
I'd like to open that bottle in July or August.
For now ... I'll enjoy the fact that I don't need to water flowers twice a day!

 

Then there is the other part of spring.
The headlong rush that is bringing us into summer.
Very. Quickly.
The patio is stacked with projects to refinish and redo.
Projects to piece together ... change the color ... add some color.
Make it into something someone will love.
And I want it all done before I have to wipe dripping sweat from my forehead every 10 minutes.
All I really need is about 4 good long days and I'll have a handle on it.
Hubby got hijacked into working with me last Friday.
He really is a team player.
He's the one who said, "let's go to Home Depot" when I suggested going to pick up pallets.
He had a new power tool delivered here on Thursday for me.
Then he proceeded to join my team.
Gotta love the man!
We took 2 of these chairs out of the pile and made it into what is going to be the cutest bench!
Just needs some finishing in the way of sanding, paint and fabric.
Wait until you see it!
I'm hoping it is as adorable in real life as it is in my mind's eye.

 

The door below was a find one day when Tia and I went junk pickin'.

People ask me where I get my ideas.

It use to be magazine pages torn out and hoarded with ideas of things I loved.

Now it is Pinterest. Even the links on Facebook bring me to drooling sometimes.

It is an idea that gives birth to another idea.

The idea snowball gets running and it ends with a patio full of furniture waiting for rebirth.

Furniture rebirth will need to wait.
I think I only have 4 available days in April to spend woodworking.
I guess that is all I asked for somewhere up a paragraph or two.

We are camping this weekend.
Our annual April camping trip is only several nites away.
We are trying out a new place this time and the weather is beautiful!!
Sweatshirts and shoes need to be packed ... and we aren't even heading to the mountains!
Can you say fresh air, camp fires, little boys, crochet hook and fabric strips?

Happy last day of March!

the age of ultrasound and pinterest

I knew the sex of each of my children before they were born.
One time they were wrong, but that doesn't count for much.
He was still welcome even if he was going to be a she.

Those days were long before Pinterest and the boatload of ideas for "baby reveal" photos.
I really can't call the baby by its chosen name until it is born.
Not only because, in our world of many babies, someone else might really like the name and use it first.
Maybe it is a superstitious thing.
I don't know.

My ultrasounds were long before Facebook, Instagram and Twitter were even thought of.
Not that I know how to use Twitter and don't really use Instagram either.
Like, really, how many social media outlets does a person need in their life?!

Way back when, I don't remember if I shared the sex of my baby before it was born.
I don't have a clue if I kept it a secret.
I just know that had Pinterest and all of its ideas been around back then ....
I'd probably have been doing what we did on Sunday.

Anna had her ultrasound on Tuesday of last week and passed the envelope, unopened (she seriously has more of something in her than I do) to her sister in law.
The dear sister in law took and ran with it.

This was the result.
Somewhere under this delectable sugary frosting substance lies the answer.
Will this be a brother or a sister?
Another son or a reason to shop for pink and lace?

Isn't anticipation a delightful thing?
Maybe not for Wyatt. He had no clue and was woken from a nap to share in this special cake.

And .... the color is ...

blue for boy!

 

After that slice she was told to try and cut the other side of the cake.
I don't know what happened to my camera's focusing ability here, but the other side yielded pink!
No, there aren't twins cooking ... just suspense building.
So we had cake!
Really yummy cake.

After which, came the rest of the deal.
Wyatt "held" the sign that we could all see, but his parents could not.
Gosh, but I love that part!!

And like clouds opening up overhead ... it rained blue on the family who is going to be blessed with another little boy.

I'm so excited for them.
Either way, we would all be excited.
My boys were 6 years apart and really didn't have much in common until they became adults.
These two little boys are going to be run circles around their parents!
I can't wait to watch!!

last weekend

It was a busy week this past week .. it was.
Monday/Tuesday are my longer days at work. Normal stuff.
I love shoving all the work into the front part of the week.
Makes the downhill slide wonderful heading into a weekend.

I actually only worked those two days last week. Then it was on to vacation.
Spring break week for the doctor we work with ... means spring break week for me as well.

Which leads me to the rest of the week.

Alyx & Sebastian spent the night Tuesday night.
Alyx, Tarron & Jari were heading to Missouri Wednesday morning for four days.
Being as I was home and not working, I got the first round of babysitting.
I don't know what we did, but it is really easy to work (power tool kind of stuff) with this specific 2 year old around. And that we did!
We went to Bible Class in the evening and served up coffee.
I don't think he saw a church pew. He was a bit busy investigating and running around with his cousin.

To be honest, this is the first time I've had a grandkiddo spend the night!
Downright shameful.
It went extremely well. He snuggled with me all night and we slept like logs.

Thursday Wyatt joined us for a while.
Oh my goodness can those boys set the world ablaze!
There isn't any crafting business going on when the two are in the house.

They dump cupboards and play hide and seek in the empty cabinets.
They tussle over toys. They tag team other things.
They act like they're 6 months apart and quickly approaching their second birthdays.

 

 

Both boys think they're big kids now.
And they sorta are.
They are growing up way too fast.

Big enough to sit at the table and eat, but maybe let's just keep the blankie. Just in case.

Still not fully awake and ready to have at it again.
Let's get back into full motion slowly following that delicious nap!

I really do love the month of March.
My camera finds hands to hold it again.
Files of photos show up on my computer again.
Love March.

Anna took the boys home with her on Thursday and I started playing woodworking nana.
Saws and sanders probably keeping the neighbors awake.
Now I look around and wonder why it took so long to accomplish a few things.
Why on earth does it always take longer to get things done than one anticipates?!
Friday was more of the same. A lot more of the same.
Trips to Ace Hardware for spray paint that was on sale.
Another trip there for a new blade for the sawsall .. I finally learned to take pallets apart the easy way.
Paint got splashed around, stain was applied, some projects completed and others halfway.
I even managed to shred the 2015 paper piles that needed shredding.
Tax day is looming and I wonder if I'll make it.
I'd much rather be creating something than working on books.
Maybe it will be another extension again this year.

Saturday Sebastian came back to me again.
I think he was ready to see his parents again and be back at home.
He did awesome being away from them for his first time and I'll gladly take him again.
The look on his face when mom and dad were picked up at the airport ... priceless.
Pure happiness.
Nonstop smile.
Nana may be good, but there ain't nothin' like mom and dad.

We are camping several two weeks from now with these charmers .. and their parents.
There are limits to what I'll do without parents at this stage of the game!
It will be fun to follow them around with a camera.

Let's hope I can capture some fun things.

And if time is friendly and allows ... I'll be back to show you a few crafty things end of the week.

Happy Monday!

it has taken 18 months

but he finally lets me take a picture of him.
I really wondered if I was nuts for buying all these little cars.
Nope.
He was busy and I got some shots.
Well worth that ten bucks.

 

There is no title I'd rather have than Nana.
I am going to speak for the Papa that lives with me.
I think he really likes his label too.
It comes with the sweetest of companions.
It comes with the sweetest of hugs and kisses.
It comes with the most beautiful smiles and nonsensical ramblings of speech.
It comes with pure love and joy.

Makes me want to just drive over and squish him up a little bit more.