tuesday

Tuesday evening and I'm sitting down.
In a quick gander through Facebook today, while on lunch break at work, I saw these awesome pictures of sunrise in and around Phoenix this morning.
I was at work long before sunrise.
I never noticed the changing of the days of light to dark as much as I do now.
Like the first day it is lighter out in the spring when you're driving to work and you wonder if you overslept.

I was up early enough this morning (4:13 a.m.) to hit the internet for a quick minute before I went to work.
One of those middle of the night thoughts must have stayed with me into the minutes of wakefulness.
I've spent some time on Shutterfly lately, and last night (after a long internal battle with myself) finally caved and spent some time making a Christmas card.
Shutterfly was obviously bogging ... it took forever!
Maybe a few others had the same idea as I did.
I figured I'd just pare down my list a bit and order less than usual.
I hit the purchase button and was sort of relived that the decision was made.

Back to this morning.
In my waking moments, I realized that some of my other orders last night should have been shipped directly to other addresses rather than paying for postage twice.
So I went online to see if I could somehow change the shipping address.
If there is some easy way to do that, I didn't find it.
What I did find was a declined card payment on my Christmas card order.
Apparently my bank didn't mind me hitting purchase over and over for the same item.
It did mind me all of a sudden upping the anty with a larger one.
Maybe they think I stole the card or something.
Really. It. Was. Just. Me.

In that moment of realization I found justification.
I sort of figured it was a sign.
I'm skipping Christmas cards this year.

I am going to have a serious case of guilt whenever I open the mailboxes and collect another greeting of the season.
I know I am.
I am going to second guess this decision of mine until January ... but at least that is only 29 days away.
I think I can handle it.

What am I going to do instead?
Perhaps I'll spend some of that postage money on enjoying a beautiful Christmas program and dinner with my hubby.
Maybe I'll pick up an angel off a tree to bring joy to a needy child.
Or I'll spend moments sharing a cup of Christmas tea with someone.
Perhaps I'll rent some ice skates (eek!!) and go enjoy an ice rink and a cup of hot cocoa with my children.

I'll think of you.
I'll share Christmas greetings ... along with the photos I had selected for my card ... with you.
And perhaps next year ... I'll put some cards in the mail.
For this year.
Guilt. Be. Gone.